Negative People

One of the most common questions I get goes something like this:

 “How do I deal with negative people? My boss (or co-workers, family members, husband etc) and many people I deal with are negative. They suck energy from me. I seem to meet “bad” people or people that are critical, lie, cheat, are dishonest, unethical, or have bad morals. They are undependable and don’t treat me like I want to be treated. How do I protect my own energy from all these negative energy people? I try to point out to some of them how negative they are and try to help them, but they don’t listen.”

Think about the number of people in your life that you feel “did you wrong”, or “took advantage of you”, or “stabbed you in the back”, or lied to you, or who you think “screwed you” in some way. I bet a lot of people come to mind. 

Think about anyone that did not keep their word, betrayed you, or turned their back on you when you needed them the most.

Many more people may also instantly come to mind.

You may think something like this when you recall a particular person:  “You have no idea how much I helped this person. I gave them money. I spent so much time and effort helping them in so many ways. I tried to encourage them. But they treated me bad. They disrespected me. They lied to me. They did not keep their word or commitments to me. They talked bad about me to other people behind my back and made up terrible things about me that were not true. They wrote me negative emails and texts, and many times did not even respond to me when I texted or emailed them. They hurt me in so many ways. What am I to do about THAT PERSON?”

Here is the hard TRUTH: It is not about them. It is about you. 

Let me say it again this way. If you have negative people in your life, that “push your buttons”, make you feel angry, sad, or disappointed, or make you feel like a victim, it has nothing to do with them, it has everything to do with you.

They fact that you are being critical, judgmental and condemning of people by saying all these bad things about them, means that what you see in others is actually what you subconsciously think about yourself. What you see in others is YOUR energy reflecting back at you. 

THINK ABOUT THIS!

What is described above (perceiving negative people in your life) has happened to everyone to various degrees, so don’t beat yourself up about it. 

The first issue here is you must know and acknowledge that by the Law of Attraction, YOU attracted those negative people and all their “negative energies” into your life. 

Again I will say: The same energy you see in others is in fact YOUR energy being reflected back at you.

Do not blame them. 

They are actually a gift to you from the Universe. They are you best teachers and are in your life to help you grow the most. They in fact can help you raise your consciousness more than any kind of person with the only exception being an Enlightened Master (a “Guru”). 

It is your energy that attracts everything into your life, including negative, bad people who do ‘bad’ things to you.

(In reality they are not negative or bad, it is just your perception that you see them as negative or bad. They just “are”. In fact there are many people who see those same “negative” people as just the opposite as you perceive them!)

FIRST, you should have the awareness of the facts stated above, and acknowledge that those facts are at least possibly true.

I suggest you reread everything above again slowly and really think about each statement before going on.

When you get to the point of realizing that those above statements are at least possibly true, THEN you can take some additional steps that will result in:

– you feeling much better, lighter, less stressed

– your vibration, your awareness, and your consciousness rising dramatically

– AND the elimination of all those “negative” people from your life (they will leave your life, or YOU may change and start seeing them as “positive” people. Notice I said YOU will change, not THEY will change! Think about this.)

Here are the first of these 3 steps to take if you have a negative person in your life (or more than one):

1.) Be thankful, grateful and full of appreciation for having awareness of the “negative person” 

2.) Know and acknowledge that you attracted into your life that person, all the negative energy of that person, and all the “bad” things that person is doing to you. In fact what that person is doing to you, YOU actually did to someone else. If you say no to this or cannot think of a time when you did the same thing to someone else, then the way that person makes you FEEL is the way YOU made someone else feel at an earlier time (so you might not have done the same thing, but you made someone else feel the same way that person is making you feel). This is karma. What goes around comes around. 

3.) Send love to that person from your heart. Thank them for coming into your life and for the lesson you are learning from them. Do this daily and multiple times a day if possible. It is a scriptural principle that always works: love your enemies and pray for your enemies. There is really no need to forgive them, because at the highest level of consciousness, there is nothing to forgive, only things to be thankful for. But, if you are not at that level of consciousness yet, then forgive them as best you can, but do this when you are alone, silently to yourself or out loud, but speaking so no one else hears you. Do not talk to them or confront them with words of love or forgiveness. 

Then take 3 these steps:

1.) ONLY IF NECESSARY and only if possible, disconnect from that person. Block their email. Block their ability to call you or text you. Stop all communication with them. For many situations such as a boss or co worker, or a spouse or family member, this is not possible. Simply disconnect to the extent you can IF YOU FEEL IT IS NEEDED. Disconnection is usually NOT needed. Do this without any negative feelings or anger or animosity. Do this with love for them in your heart knowing it is the best for them and you. If you cannot disconnect or feel that it is not needed, then reduce all communication with them. The idea here is to stop adding fuel to the fire. Do not try to explain things to them or get them to “understand” with lots of emails, phone calls, texts etc. All that MUST stop. Stop communication to the extent you can. If you MUST communicate (such as with an ex spouse who you have a child joint custody with) keep your communications as short as possible and completely neutral. 

2.) Whatever they were doing to you that was negative, YOU must stop doing it to others! However that person makes you FEEL, stop making other people feel that way. The reason you have a negative person in your life treating you bad is because you treated someone else the same or a similar way. The way this negative person makes you feel, is the same way you made someone else feel at an earlier time. Another way of saying this is you have done something to others in the past that is similar to what is being done to you and created the same negative feelings you are feeling now. Pay attention and STOP doing this!

3.) Start treating others better than ever. Practice the expanded Golden Rule:

-do to others and treat others as you want them to do to you and treat you

-talk to others as you want them to talk to you

-talk about others as you want them to talk about you

-think about others as you want them to think about you

-act and behave in your life as you want others to act and behave in their life

This means STOP being critical, judgmental or condemning of others.

DO the opposite. Praise people. Say GOOD things to and about people. Look for the gold in everyone and focus on the gold in everyone. Do not gossip!

Do these things and you will see wonderful “improvements” in all your relationships with people. “They” will magically become more positive (actually it is YOU who is “changing” and “improving” your vibration on the inside, and that then reflects back to you in your life experience. As within, so without).

You all are perfect beings. Realize that and then you will see perfect beings reflected back to you in your life.

“God” dwells within you, AS you. 

And also remember this is true for everyone, so “See ‘God’ in everyone”. 

Much love, 

Your friend, 

GuruKev

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